A while ago I was invited to participate in a book writing club. One of the group members had an unusual idea for a book. She was writing a book which consisted of letters to those people in her life who had wronged her. I read one of the letters. It was drenched in nastiness, dripping with hatred.
I did not judge this woman. I didn’t try to counsel her to rethink this, although the catholic-Italian in me felt that I should have. Instead, I just accepted that this was part of her journey in life, wished her well, and inwardly wished her peace. I didn’t absorb any of this bitterness, and was both surprised and proud of myself for not doing so.
You see, I could really, really empathize with her. I know that bitterness. The one that comes from that place of feeling wronged, of not being able to get in the last word. To want to make someone feel badly for what they did to you. Oh I have BEEN there, been in that place of anger and hatred.
But if I have learned one lesson in life that I value above all others, it’s this: creating from that place of anger, bitterness, hatred doesn’t make you feel better. It keeps you stuck in that place. And if what you’ve created, while in that place of anger, bitterness, hatred, will be seen, heard, felt by others, it won’t make them feel good either. It will just perpetuate the cycle of anger and hatred.
But, when you create from a place of joy, happiness,or love, your creation, no matter how small, will have a positive effect for whoever sees, hears or feels it.
This is what I have noticed in my own life. When I create from a place of anger, I just don’t feel right. Like when I would create a disciplinary action for my son while I was still angry about what he’d done, I would create a really over-the-top consequence- no electronics for a month! Threatening to take everything away for a month because he didn’t honor one request is ridiculous, and doesn’t serve the goal of guiding him to make better choices.
But when I create from a place of love, I create the change that I want to see in the world. I create acceptance, respect and kindness instead of shame, judgment, and anger.
I help to create a world that I want to live in.