I have been on an incredible journey, a journey of self discovery. As I look back to that first moment, the moment that I decided that I wanted CHANGE, I can see how extraordinary this journey has been, and yet how simple.
When I reflect on the most important life changing moments since deciding that I wnted change, I realize that it’s the simple every day things that I did and continue to do that got me here. Nothing fancy, just awareness and a commitment to keep moving forward.
My dream is to share my journey with you, so that you can see how simple the transformation really was. I won’t say that it was easy, because letting go of long held stories is never easy, and makes you question all that you thought you knew. But this journey from stressed out to blissed out is one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, and I hope that I will inspire you in some way, no matter where you are in YOUR journey.
And so, I will start from the beginning. In November of 2011 I felt like a failure. I was failing in my business, failing as a parent to my then 12 year old son, and failing in my relationship with my boyfriend. My mom had passed away 2 years prior, and I was still grieving her loss.I was miserable and struggled to get through each day. I spent a good deal of time feeling sorry for myself and counting out all the different ways things were not going well for me.
It all changed the day I decided that anger, resentment and regret were not serving me anymore and that I had to let them go. And so I created a new ritual. Every morning, as I walked around the pond near my house, I picked up 3 rocks, each a little smaller than the size of my fist. I would take each stone, and name it – anger, resentment, regret, throw each into the pond. As i envisioned each one sinking to the bottom of the pond, I felt a space open up inside of me, and chose to fill it with something new. Peace, joy, love, patience, whatever I felt that I needed more of at that moment.
Just like that, my journey to my true self began. No fireworks, no grand gestures. Just an awareness of what no longer served me and what I wanted more of in my life.