What Does it Mean to Hold Space?
“Holding space” is a term often used in the context of interpersonal relationships, therapy, coaching, and group dynamics. It refers to the practice of creating a supportive and empathetic environment in which individuals feel safe and comfortable to express themselves, share their thoughts and emotions, and explore their feelings without fear of judgment or interruption. Holding space involves being fully present, attentive, and compassionate for someone else’s experience.
Sounds lovely, doesn’t it? Certainly, it’s something we can aspire to do in all our interactions with other people, but what about ourselves? Can we hold space just for ourselves?
The answer is yes, absolutely, and the better we are at holding space with ourselves the better we can do it for others.
But Why Hold Space For Myself?
Sure, holding space just for ourselves will improve our relationships and communication skills with others. But the biggest benefit of being able to hold space for ourselves is that it allows us to explore our emotions, find clarity, and make decisions about our lives. The practice of holding space for ourselves can lead to increased self-awareness and personal growth.
We have to be able to explore our thoughts and emotions if we are to learn and grow from our experiences.
How Do I Hold Space for Myself?
Holding space for yourself is exactly the same as holding space for someone else. Instead of listening to someone else talk about their situation or emotions, you are simply exploring your own thoughts on a situation and the emotions that are coming up for you. Here are some guidelines:
- Presence: Holding space requires being mentally and emotionally present with yourself. It means giving yourself your full attention, setting aside your judgments, distractions, or agenda, and focusing on ​your needs and feelings.
- Non-judgment: A fundamental aspect of holding space is suspending judgment. It means refraining from evaluating or criticizing your own thoughts, feelings, or experiences. Instead, offer yourself acceptance and understanding.
- Active listening: Active listening involves not only ​listening to your thoughts but also understanding ​your emotions and perspectives.
- Empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand and share in someone else’s feelings. When holding space for yourself, you aim to cultivate empathy by acknowledging and validating ​ your own emotions.
- Emotional support: Holding space involves offering emotional support by creating a safe and nurturing environment. You can do this for yourself by thinking kind thoughts (what would you say to a friend), and offering yourself gestures of comfort.
- Patience: It’s important to be patient and go at your own pace.
Holding space for yourself is the key to personal development. It allows you to explore your thoughts and emotions without judgment. So much of our stress comes from our own thoughts and judgment and our inability to be able to look at ourselves objectively.