‘A’ is for Acknowledging Your Feelings

This week I am kicking off the A-Z Tips for Stress Management and Mindfulness. This first week's tip is to 'Accept and validate your emotions rather than suppressing them.'

For a long time, I tried to avoid my feelings and didn't realize how much stress this avoidance added to my life. Avoiding my feelings involved avoiding a lot of other things, like people and places that made me feel uncomfortable. 

When I finally learned to sit with my emotions, and view them as simply the messengers that they are, the stress that I felt melted away. 

Here's a simple practice for sitting with your emotions.

Practice for Accepting and Validating Emotions

Time: 5-10 minutes

Step 1: Find a Comfortable Space

• Sit or lie down in a quiet, comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed.

Step 2: Focus on Your Breathing

• Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a moment, and then exhale slowly through your mouth.

Step 3: Identify Your Emotion

• Take a moment to notice what you’re feeling right now. It might be a single emotion or a mix of several. It could be happiness, sadness, anger, anxiety, or something else.

Step 4: Name the Emotion

• Silently name the emotion you’re feeling. For example, say to yourself, “I feel angry” or “I feel anxious.”

Step 5: Accept the Emotion

• Acknowledge that it’s okay to feel this way. Tell yourself, “It’s okay to feel angry” or “It’s natural to feel anxious.” Recognize that emotions are a normal part of the human experience.

Step 6: Explore the Emotion

• Notice where you feel this emotion in your body. Is it a tightness in your chest, a knot in your stomach, or a heaviness in your shoulders? Just observe without trying to change anything.

Step 7: Validate the Emotion

• Validate your feelings by considering why you might be feeling this way. For example, “I feel anxious because I have a big presentation tomorrow” or “I feel sad because I miss my friend.” Acknowledge that your emotions are valid responses to your experiences.

Step 8: Offer Compassion

• Be kind to yourself. Imagine you’re comforting a friend who feels this way. What would you say to them? Offer yourself the same compassion. “It’s okay to feel this way. I’m here for you.”

Step 9: Reflect and Release

• Take a few more deep breaths. With each exhale, imagine releasing some of the tension associated with the emotion. You don’t need to get rid of the emotion entirely, just let go of some of the intensity.

Step 10: Gradually Return

• When you feel ready, slowly open your eyes and bring your awareness back to your surroundings. Take a moment to notice how you feel now compared to when you started.

Practice Reflection

• After the practice, take a few minutes to journal about your experience. What emotions did you identify? How did it feel to acknowledge and validate them? Did you notice any changes in your body or mind?